//beconfused

**Welcome to M1!**
_Yeah, be quick will ya…_

**M1 customers, please enter your M1, or press ’star’ if you’re currently not an M1 customer.**
_Right.  -starts pressing M1 number-_

**If you wish to know more about the roaming service, press 9.**
_Huh? Roaming? I want to cancel the line!_

**For SunPerks rewards program, press 1.**
_Not this._

**For billing enquires, press 2.**
_I want to cancel, I want to cancel, I want to cancel._

**To obtain PUK code, activate/deactivate of value-added services, press 3.**
_No, I don’t have the damn mobile phone to do so. It’s not with me!_

**For MMS, GPRS and technical assistance on equipment, press 4.**
_No, I don’t use these services. I just want to cancel my line!_

**For IDD services, press 5.**
_No, no mobile phone to do so._

**For mobile enquiries, press 6.**
_Enquire? No, I want to cancel only…_

**To check if you can upgrade your handset, press 7.**
_Why can’t you let me cancel…?_

**For corporate accounts enquiries, press 8.**
_WHAT THE FUCK?!_

**To speak to our customer service officers, press 0.**
_Oh, yes, I would love to. Should have placed it in front._

This represents my thoughts when I help my girlfriend cancel her M1 mobile phone card as she lost her phone. I called M1’s mobile phone customer service at 1627. M1 doesn’t like us to do that apparent and force me to go through an ordeal of 30 seconds just to realize none of the phone menus are for me! One life - live it… with SingTel or Starhub. M1’s customer service just killed me.

And by the way, if you check out M1’s search engine, it’s fucked up. Try searching for these:

* roaming
* assistance
* business
* sunperks
* customer
* phones

All the searches show - No documents match the query. This is a freaking dumb search engine. But you know what’s the worst? As I was getting impatient with the search engine, I typed in “singtel”.

Oh wow! 38 results are actually returned!! My conclusion, M1’s search engine is totally screwed up. It is for search SingTel related articles.

[SingTel is Singapore Telecommunications Ltd., the eternal rival of M1. That is if - of course - that M1 survives. More about mobile phone companies at cellular//singapore.]

I got my phone a new cover. It’s orange in color. I thought it pretty good.

_(The new phone cover that I bought at Bugis, it’s orange in color and it costs SG$6)_

I didn’t buy the original Nokia Express Cover. Not that I don’t want to, I just simply can’t find the cover for this model anywhere! My model is a really old one. It is about 5 years old. But it is still alive and kicking. And when it is in a bad mood, it just shuts itself down but I am perfectly fine with it, so long as it doesn’t happen too often.

I am using a Nokia 8310, no color screen but that’s okay because it is not my requirement to get a color phone anyway. I like my phone.

It weighs less than 90, has all sorts of features that I don’t touch, and the menu is confusing. Basically I like the radio feature. Only.

I want a phone. My ideal phone would be:

* Weighs less than 90 - This is pretty easy to find
* Has a radio and MP3 or WMA player in-built - I would like some music to accompany me when I travel and it will be nice if I can just bring one device instead of 2.
* No camera (this is a must for me, I cannot bring camera into the army),
* Nice to press button - I do not want any bloody phone maker to sell me a phone with some strange number pad system. I want my numpad to have 12 buttons, 3 per column, 4 per row, don’t mess with it please. (Nokia, are you listening?)
* Small - It’s easier to slip in the pocket and bring it along.

Are my requirements too hard to ask? It turns out that they are. Most phones come with cameras that I personally do not like and can’t have it anyway. And a music player that is in-built is rare.

Initially, I was looking at Panasonic A500 that costs SG$98 from SingTel with subscription plan but it is out of stock already. I was too late.

Maybe I’ll just wait for another half a year to wait for the whole mobile phone market to refresh their phones. Maybe I’ll find one that I like next time.

Two years back, my family used to own this miracle device called “Caller ID”. Really cool device at first, it tells me which pest is calling my younger brother. It’s really useful to choose whether to answer the call or not.

However, this Caller ID falls short on several scenario. When Caller ID is offered, everyone thought it’s oh-so-cool. Then there is this Private Number service from SingTel (Singapore Telecommunications) that my aunt subscribed. It must have been a cunning business ploy to offer them in their line of services. However, the Private Number didn’t work very well, I always know it’s my aunt calling. She’s the only one that uses Private Number.

So the Caller ID wins. How do I get the best out of it?

Every time some one calls, I’ll look at the Caller ID and see if it’s a familiar number. If it is, I’ll call for my mother or something. If it isn’t familiar, our family (not my father though) will just pick the phone up to greet the caller.

Sadly, most of the numbers recorded in the Caller ID doesn’t look familiar. We’d just be in front of the phone for 5 seconds wondering if it’s good to pick it up or not. In the end, we gave in. Yes, we pick up the phone. Sometimes it’s a wrong number too. It’s alright I supposed.

After subsequent scenarios, we just got lazy. The thinking is why the hell do we go through the fuss to look at the Caller ID when we are going to pick it up anyway? Dilemma.

It is useful when the Caller ID records the phone numbers when we aren’t at home. I recall we’d rush to the machine and start scrolling through all the unanswered phone call’s numbers. We would see if the number looks familiar. If it doesn’t, my brother and I would query the database of phone numbers! [Actually, that's just flipping my mother's address book.]

So to keep or not to keep. In the end, we dumped the Caller ID and cancelled the subscription. It has been fun, but seriously, we don’t need to know who called. I don’t need to see a bunch of friends acquainted to my brother plaguing the Caller ID too.

Rest in peace, Caller ID.

Just a while before midnight, I picked up my phone and start dialing a number. It has been quite some time since I last called before midnight, I wonder if it is actually alright. And then I heard a lady’s voice. In a deep and husky voice she spoke, demanding my absolute attention. I listened obediently to her somewhat robotic voice.

“..for general enquiries on products and services, please call..” she commanded, “..for broadband technical enquiries, please press 1..”.

I have been using SingNet as my internet service provider (ISP) for 6 years and I believe that I have made at least 1 call to their technical services every year. I am always kinda embarrass when they ask me for my username because I understand that a crosscheck with their systems would also reveal the number of times I called. I wonder if I were the record holder in SingNet’s technical support line.

SingNet’s a good ISP, they have answered my question well, especially when my first question is so vague that it goes like, “Why has my internet got no connection?”. Most of the time it’s a hardware problem, so I should have actually called Compaq which is my previous PC’s brand. But you know, Compaq has shitty customer services, they just want to get their computers sold.

Blog*Spot is causing problems for me. Basically, I can’t access any sites hosted by Blog*Spot. The worse part is that that includes mine. It didn’t take me long to suspect it’s not my computer’s problem because most of my friends using SingNet can’t view the damn domain.

So I gave SingNet a ring at half past eleven, they have phone support till midnight. Like most phone support numbers, I got a recorded message to navigate me around their services.

I do know a thing or two about these recorded messages. Firstly, it’s all powered by robotic women. Yes, not just human, must be a woman. Not just a woman, she has got to have one of those BBC robotic newscaster voice. These recorded messages are used to divert attention and make people give up in calling technical support.

Take my favorite ISP as an example, the lady requested in the pre-recorded message for me to “try rebooting my computer first as I am waiting for the technical officer as it usually solves the problem”. It didn’t, Blog*Spot is having problems for days.

Then I got diverted to the menu. The lady commanded me to call different sets of numbers for specific technical supports. Finally the actual main menu comes as she tells me to press <1> for broadband technical support. Yes, that’s what I want!

So the technical guy answered. The good thing about SingNet is that they have enough technical people and I never waited for long, unlike that dreadful Compaq and put me into the 20 minutes queue. SingNet is smart to waste 2 minutes of my time by putting me on a recorded message. I would have screamed “Why the f*** can I not access Blog*Spot?”. Er, f*** means “fish”, you know those that swim. Oh, you don’t get me? Of course you don’t, there’re so many different species of fish, there’s puffer fish, clown fish, selfish and well… puffer fish. There’re so many types of fish, you probably don’t know what I’m referring. I’m actually say “Why the puffer fish can I not access Blog*Spot?”

I have been trying to access sub domains hosted under the blogspot.com but fail. Is there a problem with your servers?

[Translation: Why the puffer fish can I not access Blog*Spot?]

I always get redirected to new.blogger.com, it seems that only SingNet users are affected.

[Translation: It's you and your mom's fault!]

So he checked and he can miraculously access it. Then reconfirmed that I can’t. He put me on hold with some stupid classical music for 10 minutes, I am sure it’s ten minutes! He’s probably at the loo with his favorite computer magazine or gathering with his colleagues at the coffee corner discussing about their boss’s bad hair days.

He finally came back and provided me with a solution which is to access through their proxy server. Okay, that worked. He also assured me that the problems will be fixed as soon as possible and I should not be using their proxy servers necessarily.

Today, I checked my blog. It worked, this time without me having to insert a proxy. Damn, am I in good mood or what.

As for what really happened, Blog*Spot is never down, but on December 31, they updated some DNS stuff (they call it DNS snafu or something, not sure). I think that caused a problem when SingNet didn’t refresh their servers or something. This is only affecting SingNet users who are not accessing through a proxy server. So basically, if you’re using dial up, you’re safe. [SingNet Broadband does away with the proxy thingy.]

This, I believe, is the post that contains the most number of words.

I made this post in response to the article I saw at pketh’s blog. You can read about Toronto’s cellular market here.

Singapore’s cellular service market is rather small. As far as I am concern, there are only 3 companies offering cellular services. Number one in terms of customer base in the cellular market is Singapore Telecommunications (SingTel for short), with a near 50% victory over the other two. The other two are MobileOne (M1 for short) and Starhub, around 32% and 18% respectively if memory serves me correctly. All three targets different crowds.

(SingTel Comcenter building at Somerset.)

SingTel seems to be going after businessmen aggressively, they offer excellent connectivity and no-crap services. On second thoughts, let’s remove the string of words “no-crap”. Did you know SingTel’s peak hours is till 9 at night? SingTel also has a subsidiary called “pod” which targets teenagers.

M1 is targeting teenagers mainly, offering a range of cellular plans with affordable prices. I used to be M1’s customer and I work at ExxonMobil Singapore during my holidays. I work at 31st floor. And trust me, M1 has absolutely no reception! All my colleagues are using SingTel! M1 has good coverage in other places though.

Starhub is a relatively new company. They’re first to offer free incoming calls. SingTel and M1 later offered similar plans. Starhub is famous for their bad connectivity throughout the years. But I heard they’ve improved now.

I am using a SG$28.00 plan from SingTel. [SG$1.00=US$0.60] View the details here. I get 200 minutes free talk time (lots of off-peak talk time), 360 free SMS plus Caller-ID features. [SG 1minute=US 1minute] No voice mail for me, I do not need that anyway.

SMS stands for Short Messaging erm.. System? I think so. That’s a really hot thing in Singapore. Almost all plans comes with free SMS. For each additional SMS you made, SingTel charges 5 cents.

I often receive messages like “wad rm later” from my friends. And I reply, “t123″. They are trying to ask “What is the room number for the next lesson?”. My reply is basically the room number as you have probably guessed. You see how such a long sentence can be shorten? Hurray for Singlish (Singapore English, our government find it distasteful though)!

Peak and off-peak hour charges are 20.8 and 10.4 cents respectively, both in Singapore currency.

By the way, I am using a Nokia 8310. I like to call it eighty-three-ten.

Well, that wraps up the cellular overview in Singapore.

This is the first time I post something in response of someone else’s posting, in this case, pketh’s. Interesting. Should do it more often.