//beconfused

(14-year-old Lynn undergoes digital alterations to suit the beaty ideals of the media world.)

More hair. More captivating eyes. Smaller waist line. Fuller breast. Smoothen blemishes.

Client: Ministry of Health and Social Affairs
Title: Retouch

The media world is becoming increasingly fixated on appearances. And the number of tricks used to achieve the increasingly exaggerated ideals is growing. Many models have plastic surgery and even more are retouched so they appear to have bigger breasts, smaller stomachs or fuller lips.

We wanted to show how easy it is to change someone’s appearance in this campaign.

Watch how it’s done! So don’t trust the beauty advertisement so much – trust Photoshop more.

Now we are seeing more things in the Singapore television. A decade ago, women used to be clothed more and Singaporean who watch television only in their lives wouldn’t have known bikini was ever invented.

Today, we see women cladded in bikini in beaches, girls wearing sexily in clubs and now – Ann Kok flashing her legendary pokémon padded Triumph 3/4 Maximizer (according to Mr. Brown’s blog).

(Ann Kok shows off Triumph 3/4 Maximizer.)

They’ve always been talking about Ann Kok’s assets. I’ve seen the magazines, she supposed to have big ones according to a certain magazine that have images of Fiona Xie regularly. So now, you have a clear view already. I think it’s taken from drama serial – Love’s Ambassador. See the original GIF image here, I re-encoded it so that it’s smaller in size for easier viewing.

So I guess Singapore really is opening up. First, it’s sex education. Then, there’s Priscelia Chan being raped in some Chinese drama serial scene. Then, there’re drama serials with girls swimming in bikini. And then social escorts from China. Then it’s mistresses from Vietnam. Now there’s Ann Kok showing off a bra.

And, today, we have FHM, Maxim and recently – S.N.A.G. (Sensual New Age Guy). Soon, we’ll probably see photobooks of Fiona Xie, Ericia Lee and probably, hot-mama Zoe Tay. And later, perhaps – just perhaps – we’ll get to see image videos of Mediacorp artists acting cute, playing volleyball with the video cameramen, released with a photobook, a 15 minutes commentary about how hard was it to pose and a minute of bloopers.

Oh, you just wait. Just wait and you’ll see all of these coming to a bookstore near you.

By the way, as much as I know how to convert videos, I am not skilled enough to use HTML to make the player embed nicely into my web site. It looks kinda wrong. When I view it with Opera, Firefox and Internet Explorer, it all looks different!

Can anybody teach me a nice way of embedding videos and will have a consistent look between browsers? It would be great if codes are provided too, hehee… [By the way, I am looking for a non-Flash solution.]

(Perhaps that is an Ozzie family tradition?)

[Source]

Correct me if I’m wrong, that guy is Ozzie and that’s his daughter Kelly. She certainly looks happy with her father’s hand on her… Ozzie places hand on Kelly Osbourne’s breasts.

(If bubble tea can’t seem to sell, perhaps they can try this method.)

I think that’s coconut. I am sure this would sure sell. The Singapore government won’t accept this though. I just thought this can be applied to the failing bubble tea sales. I think the girl is selling coconut drink, lol (more…)

There’s something about cars. Some of my friends are crazy over them. These sports cars. What car enthusiast would have corrected me to call them “performance cars”.

I look at these cars and thought, “Nice.”

And they thought, “Woah, this is the thing. Absolute beauty. It has been revved up. Check out the horse power. Man, this is going to be the coolest thing in the show. It’s even got a NOS system. I can literally hear the sounds. Bang! Bang! Bang! This baby is kick ass! This car is so going to impress. My folks will be so mad at my financial management skills if I buy that.”

If you can’t view the video, go direct to YouTube. It’s a video of how a perfect car for women would be like. Very nice 3D graphics.

The thing is, I know nothing much about cars. I am starting to know more about it now though. Since my friends are mentioning them to me. For once I understood what the hell is NOS; although just slightly, but it’s better than nothing.

Some even bought car magazines. There’s only 2 things to excite a car enthusiast about these magazines. Firstly, it’s the cars. Then, there’s the girls who pose with the cars. If you have noticed, some magazine made an extra effort to feature the girl more than the car too. And most of the girls aren’t pretty there!

I often end up flipping and flipping and close the book within 2 minutes! Only 5% of the girls are pretty, compared to 50% of the cars that are pretty. Oh, I know what the magazines are doing – they are trying to feature not-that-pretty girls so that the readers will not be distracted while viewing the cars’ pictures. How thoughtful.

If you want to see women, get FHM or something. And don’t get the Singapore version, because they placed Vicki Zhao to be 2nd in Sexist Women of 2004. What crap. I can imagine Chanon saying, “She’s so pretty” in Thai accent.

Get the car magazine only if you truly like cars, so-so looking women and advertisements in every alternate page.

Note: I made up what car enthusiast would have thought, they’re unlikely to think like that, but I can’t have a post that is too long. Also, not many car magazines have so much advertisements.

Ben and Shawn bought a photo book. You know, those that feature a sexy girl kinda books? [EDIT: Those are often called 'photobooks'.] It’s hard cover and she looks really hot. I can’t remember her name! It’s Hitomi-something, I don’t remember.

She has this look that is cute and sexy. Sexily cute. Cutely sexy. Ah, page 33 even has her in the cute and tiny.. *ahem* Well, the book’s very stylish. The photographs are very artistic. The scenery is really good too. I can’t wait to get my digital camera and I’ll fly to Japan and find her! I mean, her photographer. You know, so that I can know where the sceneries are from.

The book costs SG$71! As much as I would want to enjoy viewing them, I will not spend money buying such things. I don’t think it’s worth it. A chat with Ben yesterday revealed that he thinks it’s worth the money. He also added that having spent SG$71, the only thing he can do to make his money worthwhile is to view the photo book every day!

There is even a comment that if the book is with Ben, the pages might stick together. [Think dirty.] I think Shawn said it. I told Zhi Yuan, if he wants to borrow it, he will be disappointed because the only page you can open fully is the one that details on the copyrights and publishing! [Read: The other pages stick together.]

Ben and Shawn invested SG$40 and SG$31 respectively into this venture. As you can see, Ben is the major shareholder. Before that, they bought UpToBoy, a Japanese magazine which they completely not understand. UpToBoy is one of those “hyper visual magazine for men”, if you get what I mean. I looked at the cover and saw someone quite familiar…

Nah, it’s not my mother. [No, Grandma, it's not you either!] It’s Natsumi Abe. She was from Morning Musume. She graduated from there already. She’s pretty, I tell you. I picked up the magazine and flipped it with disinterest. I got to pretend that I am not interested because Ben is telling me that I should pay. Now, where is my Nacchi music video..? [Nacchi is Natsumi Abe's nickname in Morning Musume.]

Ben and Shawn, being fans of larger-attributed women, didn’t find Natsumi satisfying apparently. So they went on and bought back Hitomi. Hitomi’s sexy poses reigns in every aspect of er.. photography, yeah, reigns in photography.

Oh, I found my Nacchi music video. I’ll end now. Here’s the conclusion:

If Shawn’s mother found out about the photo book, he’ll certainly get killed. At least he can die a happy man.

Ja ne [See you]. If only I can understand what’s Nacchi singing about. Subarashii. Suteki. Suki. Sugoi. Super Sugoi. Subete Subarashii deSu. [Just a whole string of crap expressing amazement and fondness. Probably wrong, since I gotten it from Japanese anime and anyhow plant them together.]

Disclaimer: Okay, let’s be quick on this; my video has started playing. Ben and Shawn are good people. Posting has been exaggerated for reading and writing pleasure. Hitomi’s beauty have been exaggerated too.