On THE VIEW, which aired on 5.18.09, Jesse Ventura PWNED Elisabeth Hasselbeck on the issue of torture. Bless her poor little confused right wing idiot heart she brought up all the usual right wing hate monger targets, Pelosi, Obama, Clinton…
Jesse Ventura: “If there’s nothing wrong with waterboarding, then why don’t our police use it?”.
The ridiculous ShamWow guy:
You know the Germans always make good stuff.
ShamWow Guy In Slap, Chop Bust
MARCH 27–Meet Vince Shlomi. He’s probably better known to you as the ShamWow Guy, the ubiquitous television pitchman who has been phenomenally successful peddling absorbent towels and food choppers. Shlomi, 44, was arrested last month on a felony battery charge following a violent confrontation with a prostitute in his South Beach hotel room. According to an arrest affidavit, Shlomi met Sasha Harris, 26, at a Miami Beach nightclub on February 7 and subsequently retired with her to his $750 room at the lavish Setai hotel. Shlomi told cops he paid Harris about $1000 in cash after she “propositioned him for straight sex.” Shlomi said that when he kissed Harris, she suddenly “bit his tongue and would not let go.” Shlomi then punched Harris several times until she released his tongue. The affidavit, a copy of which you’ll find here, notes that during the 4 AM fight Harris sustained facial fractures and lacerations all over her face (she is pictured here in mug shots snapped following busts in 2008 and 2005). After freeing his tongue, a bleeding Shlomi ran to the Setai lobby, where security summoned cops. Harris refused to cooperate with officers, who recovered $930 from her purse. “Both parties had a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from their persons,” police reported. In a brief telephone interview, Harris declined to answer TSG questions about her run-in with Shlomi, though she did say she is considering a lawsuit against the pitchman. Asked if she worked as a hooker, Harris declined comment. As seen in the below mug shot, Shlomi was also injured during the fracas and, court records show, was treated at Mount Sinai Medical Center. While Shlomi and Harris were both arrested for felony aggravated battery, prosecutors this month declined to file formal charges against the combatants. Police records list Shlomi’s occupation as “Marketing,” but make no mention of his affiliation with the ShamWow or the Slap Chop, both of which sell for $19.95 (plus shipping and handling). (Source: Smoking Gun)
“She bit his tongue and would not let go and you really need to get ShamWow for that.”
Irony of the day:
Police Spray Water Cannons at World Water Forum Protesters
Apparently Turkish police have a biting sense of irony: they’ve sprayed protesters at the World Water Forum with high-pressured water cannons.
The forum, which occurs every three years, is supposed to focus on ways to eliminate water poverty across the globe, but protesters believe the forum takes a heavy-handed approach and supports construction of dangerous and environmentally-disastrous large dams.
The police said that the water cannons were the most “cost effective” way to respond to these protesters. While of course I do not condone any act of violence against people merely expressing themselves, if the cops were going to do it anyway, this was a wonderful weapon choice.
Tear gas? $7,350.
Water cannons? $235.
Using water cannons against people protesting water poverty? Priceless. (Source: Planetsave)
Girl asks cops to search laptop, suspects boyfriend of downloading kiddie porn. Cops find video of her and her dog, “Toby”… you can’t make this stuff up. (via Reddit)
Porn Sting Goes To The Dogs
Michelle Owen. Concerned that an ex-boyfriend had used her laptop to search for child pornography, the Indiana woman asked police to search the computer for illegal images, but had her plan backfire when cops discovered two videos of her engaged in illicit acts with a dog. Owen, 24, was charged last week with two felony bestiality counts in connection with the video files, which a detective found in the laptop’s “recycle bin.” At the time Owen asked cops to search the computer, she was locked up in the Johnson County Jail on a public intoxication charge (which violated the terms of her release in a prior drunk driving case). According to a police affidavit, a copy of which you’ll find here, a cop told Owen that he had found videos of her on the laptop and asked if she “knew what those files might be.” Owen, pictured in the below mug shot, replied, “The one with the dog.” Cops believe that the dog in question, Toby, is a beagle. After asking if she was “going to be charged with this,” Owen said that the videos “were just something she did when she was drunk and barely remembers it,” adding that she tried to “delete them the next day when she was sober.” (Source: The Smoking Gun)
That’s major fail.
This is rather funny, a group of environmentalists were upset trees are being removed and reported the incident to the police. The police found no illegal logging perform, just a beaver dam nearby. I love the policeman’s quote: “The campaigners are feeling pretty stupid. There’s nothing more natural than a beaver.”
BEAVERS BREAK THE LAW
Green campaigners called police after discovering an illegal logging site in a nature reserve – only to find the culprits were a gang of beavers.
Environmentalists found 20 neatly stacked tree trunks and others marked with notches for felling at a beauty-spot in Subkowy, northern Poland.
But when officers followed a trail left by a tree which had been dragged away, they found a beaver dam right across the river, as reported by the Austrian Times.
A police spokesman said: “The campaigners are feeling pretty stupid. There’s nothing more natural than a beaver.” (Source: OK)
Opps, see wrongly: Police in Wales were called to investigate a mysterious flying saucer, only to discover it was the moon.
Moon mistaken for UFO
The moon was mistaken for a “bright, stationary” UFO which had been loitering for at least half an hour, by a confused local in South Wales who made a 999 call to the police.
Today officers released a transcript in order to highlight the time wasted by unnecessary 999 calls.
Control: “South Wales Police, what’s your emergency?”
Caller: “It’s not really. I just need to inform you that across the mountain there’s a bright stationary object.”
Control: “Right.”
Caller: “If you’ve got a couple of minutes perhaps you could find out what it is? It’s been there at least half an hour and it’s still there.”
Control: “It’s been there for half an hour. Right. Is it actually on the mountain or in the sky?”
Caller: “It’s in the air.”
Control: “I will send someone up there now to check it out.”
Caller: “OK.”
After the police patrol car arrives, the script reveals the exchange between the control room and the police officer sent to the scene.
Control: “Alpha Zulu 20, this object in the sky, did anyone have a look at it?”
Officer: “Yes, it’s the moon. Over.” (Source: Telegraph)
For weird news, God just sinned:
Man named God arrested for selling cocaine – near a church
TAMPA, FL — Whether his name is a blessing or curse the man named God Lucky Howard was arrested by undercover detectives for selling cocaine in his neighborhood.
If the delivery of cocaine charge isn’t enough Howard is charged with the delivery of cocaine near a church, a school and public housing near North Avon Avenue in Tampa.
After obtaining a warrant Police searched Howard’s home and found an additional 22 grams of cocaine and a scale. (Source: ABC)
Names are getting stranger these days. I prefer the traditional names like Tom, Jack, Bob and John. It’s simple.
