//beconfused

Here are some of the school work that students submitted. I wonder how many are actually real. If you’re feeling a little naughty, you can possibly do something like that to your teacher, do to it those who can accept humor though. And of course, pray that your teacher won’t send you to the principal’s.

(Find x, here it is.)

(I would check to see if it had a vagina.)

(Sleeping with boss wife.) (more…)

My friend forwarded to be this joke, enjoy:

A man was walking across the road when he met with an accident. The impact was on his head which caused him to be in a coma for 2 days.
When he opened his eyes, his wife was by his side.

He told her (in tears), “When I was struggling with my studies in the University, I failed again and again. Sometimes I even have to re-take my papers. You were there by my side, encouraging me to go on trying.”

She squeezed his hands as he continued, “When I went for major interviews and failed to clinch any of the jobs, you were there, cutting out the job ads for me to apply…”

He added, ” …then I started working in this little firm and finally got a big contract. I blew it because of a small mistake. But you are still there for me.”

His wife was in tears. The man said, “I finally got a job after being laid off for quite some time. But I never seem to be promoted and my hard work was not recognised. I remained in the same position from the day I joined the company till now. You are still beside me…”

His wife’s tears trickled down as she listened to him, “And now I met with an accident and when I woke up, you are here with me. There’s something I really like to say to you…”

She flung herself on the bed and hug her husband, sobbing with deep emotion. Finally her husband said… “I think you bring me bad luck-lah”

My friend forwarded this to me. Try finding out what’s so unique about the following paragraph?

This is an unusual paragraph. I’m curious how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks plain and you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is unusual though. Study it, and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out.

It took me really long to figure that one out. Perhaps you’ll have better luck (and intelligence) than me. Figured it out?

I’ll give you the answer in just a bit: Answer is in this page.

Chong Kok sent me this list, I don’t really remember all of these things, do you guys remember them? I don’t remember watching He-man and Silver Hawk. I don’t remember The Count’s laugh too. What’s Bin1 Fen1 Ba1 San1?!

50 things known to a Singaporean teenager

1. You grew up watching He-man, Transformers, Silver hawk and Mickey Mouse. Not to forget, Ninja turtles and Smurfs too.
2. You grew up brushing your teeth with a mug in Primary school during recess time. You will squat by a drain with all your classmates beside you, and brush your teeth with a coloured mug. The teachers said you must brush each side 10 times too.
3. You know what’s Bin1 Fen1 Ba1 San1 is all about.
4. You know what SBC stands for.
5. You were there when the first chinese serial, the Awakening was shown on TV.
6. Internet? What the hell is that? So you thought a decade or more ago.
7. You find your friends with pagers and handphone cool in Secondary school.
8. SBS buses used to be non-airconditioned. The bus seats are made of wood and the cushion is red.! The big red bell gives a loud BEEEP! when pressed.There are colourful tickets for TIBS buses. The conductor will check for tickets by using a machine which punches a hole on the ticket.
9. Your favourite actor and actress is Huang Wenyong and Xiangyun. Next is Lee Nanxing and Zoe Tay and the Aiyoyo woman.
10. You’ve probably read Young Generation magazine. You know who’s Vinny the little vampire and Acai the constable.
11. You were there when they first introduced MRT here. You went for the first ride with your parents and you would kneel on the seat to see the scenery.
12. Movie tickets used to cost only $3.50.
13. Gals are fascinated by Strawberry Short Cake and Barbie Dolls.
14. You learn to laugh like The Count in Sesame Street.
15. You longed to buy tibits called Kaka (20 cents per pack) and Ding Dang (50 cents per box), that had a toy in it and it changes every week not forgetting the 15 cents animal crackers and the ring pop, where the lollipop is the diamond on the ring.
16. You watched TV2 (also known as Channel 10) cartoons because Channel 5 never had enough cartoons for you.
17. All that you know about Cantonese is from the Hong Kong serials you watched on TV2.
18. Hardy Boys, Nancy Drew, The Three Investigators, Famous Five and Secret Seven are probably the thickest story ! books you ever thought you have read. Even SweetValley High and Malory Towers.
19. Civics and Moral Education was 好公民 (Hao3 Gong1 Min2).
20. KFC used to be a high class restaurant that serve food in plates and let you use metal forks and knives.
21. The most vulgar thing you said was asshole and idiot and the most extreme was ’super white’ - you just couldn’t bring yourself to say the hokkien relative.
22. Catching was the in thing and twist the magic word.
23. Your English workbooks was made of some damn poor quality paper that was smooth and yellow.
24. CDIS was your best friend.
25. The only computer lessons in school involved funny pixellised characters in 16 colours walking about trying to teach you maths.
26. Waterbottles were slinged around your neck and a must everywhere you go.
27. Boys loved to play soccer with small tennis balls in the basketball court or play something that uses tennis ball to hit other players known as “HUM TAM BOLA” during recess or after school
28. Hopskotch, five stones, chapteh and zero point were all the rage with the girls and boys too…
29. Science was fun with the balsam and the angsana being the most important plants of our lives.
30. Who can forget Ahmad, Bala, Sumei and John, eternalized in our minds from the textbooks. Even Mr. Wally.
31. You did stupid exercises like seal crawl and frog jumps.
32. Every Children’s Day and National Day you either get pins or pens with “Happy Children’s Day 1993″ or dumb files with “Happy National Day 1994″.
33. In Primary 6, you had to play buddy for the younger kids like big sister and brother.
34. Chinese teachers were always old, boring and damn fierce looking.
35. Your form teacher taught you Mathematics, Science and English.
36. The worksheets were made of brown rough paper of poor quality.
37. You went to school in slippers and a raincoat when it rained, and you find a dry spot in the school to sit down, dry your feet, and wear your dry and warm socks and shoes.
38. Famous Chinese singers were only Jacky Cheung, Andy Lau, Aaron Kwok and Leon Lai.
39. School dismissal time was normally around 1 pm.
40. There would be spelling tests and mental sums to do almost everyday.
41. Your friends considered you lucky and rich if your parents gave you $3 or more for pocket money everyday.
42. During class gatherings, parents always tag along in case someone gets lost at Orchard Road.
43. You freak out when the teacher tells you to line up according to height and hold hands with the corresponding boy or girl.
44. Handkerchiefs were a must for both genders.
45. Collecting notebooks and all kinds of stationery was a popular thing.
46. Autograph books were loaded with “Best Wishes”, “Forget Me Not”, and small poems like “Bird fly high, hard to catch. Friend like you, hard to forget”.
47. Class monitors and prefects loved to say “You talk somemore, I write your name ah!”
48. There were at least 40 people in one class.
49. Large, colourful schoolbags were carried.
50. You brought every single book to school, even though there was one thing called the timetable.

The list has been reformatted. It’s quite true for half the list. Quite a good list though.

Teck Hui sent me this a couple of years back and I don’t know why I still have it in my mail. I actually manage to keep going clockwise, but it feels odd.

How smart is your right foot?

This is so funny that it will boggle your mind and you will keep trying it at least 50 more times to see if you can outsmart your foot. But you can’t!

1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles with it.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number “6″ in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction!

I told you so… And there is nothing you can do about it.

Conclusion

My foot is smarter than the author’s. What an achievement.

Lilian forwarded me this email.

Oscar Weil and Benjamin Oppenheimer are Jews, and were sitting in a Chinese restaurant in Shanghai.

“Oscar,” asked Benjie, “Are there any Jews in China?”

“I don’t know,” Oscar replied.

“Why don’t we ask the waiter?”

When the waiter came by, Benjie asked him,

“Are there any Chinese Jews here in Shanghai?”

“I don’t know sir, let me ask,” the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen.

He returned in a few minutes and said, “No, sir. No Chinese Jews.”

“Are you sure?” Benjie asked.

“I will check again, sir” the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen.

While he was still gone, Oscar said, “I cannot believe there are no Jews in China, our people are scattered everywhere.”

When the waiter returned he said, “Sir, no Chinese Jews.”

“Are you really sure?” Benjie asked again.

“I cannot believe there are no Chinese Jews.”

“Sir, I asked everyone,” the waiter replied exasperated, “we have orange Jews, apple Jews, tomato Jews and grape Jews, but no one ever hear of Chinese Jews! If you want, we have Chinese Tea.”

Chong Kok forwarded this to me. I thought I share this with you guys.

The Husband Store!

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch… you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor! sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

“Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.

“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!”

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012th to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

Some thoughts

This is life, isn’t it? We sometimes don’t know when to stop. Sometimes it is assume that if we skip an opportunity, a better one would come. Sometimes you just end up being worse of.