//beconfused

I got this joke several times, thought it’s time to post it:

One sunny day in January 2009

One sunny day in January, 2009 an old man approached the White House from Across Pennsylvania Avenue , where he’d been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said, ‘I would like to go in and meet with President Bush.’

The Marine looked at the man and said, ‘Sir, Mr. Bush is no longer president and no longer resides here.’

The old man said, ‘Okay’, and walked away.

The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, ‘I would like to go in and meet with President Bush.’

The Marine again told the man, ‘Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Bush is no longer presid
ent and no longer resides here.’

The man thanked him and, again, just walked away.

The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same U.S. Marine, saying ‘I would like to go in and meet with President Bush.’

The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, ‘Sir, this is the third day in row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Bush. I’ve told you already that Mr. Bush is no longer the president and no longer resides here. Don’t you understand?’

The old man looked at the Marine and said, ‘Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it.’

The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, ‘See you tomorrow, Sir.’

A man went on a business to China and wanted to buy some gifts for his kids. He went to a shop and found a nice looking CD player. Wary of buying inferior goods, he asked the shopkeeper, ‘What would happened if this does not work?’

The shopkeeper quietly points to the only sign in English that reads: ‘GUARANTEE NO SPOILT’

Feeling assured, he paid for the CD player and returns to his hotel. He tried to use the CD player after returning to the hotel but it would not even switch on.

He quickly return to the shop and asked for a refund or an exchange for another unit. When the shopkeeper refused to give either, the man points to the sign assuring him of a guarantee.

The shopkeeper then said, ‘Brother, you are in China. We read from the right to the left.’

[via email]

Julian Beever is an English artist who’s famous for his art on the pavement of England, France, Germany, USA, Australia and Belgium. Beever gives to his drawings an amazing 3D illusion. These Trompe-l’oeil drawings are created using a projection called anamorphism and appear to defy the laws of perspective.

Here are some of the optical illusions I received on email, thought I share with you guys:

(Rescuing someone on the streets.)

(Girl lying on the beach mat.)

(Rembrandts with Rembrandts.)

Portable Computer was drawn on The Strand, London and was commissioned by Procom.

(Sun on the streets.)

(The pool with a girl.)

(The pool from another angle.)

(Playing with a boat in water.)

(What a waste of water!)

View more in part 1 of Julian Beever’s chalk optical illusions.

Julian Beever is an English artist who’s famous for his art on the pavement of England, France, Germany, USA, Australia and Belgium. Beever gives to his drawings an amazing 3D illusion. These Trompe-l’oeil drawings are created using a projection called anamorphism and appear to defy the laws of perspective.

Here are some of the optical illusions I received on email, thought I share with you guys:

(Julian Beever poses with Julian Beever and his beer.)

(Look, people are actually walking away from the hole in the ground.)

(Fancy playing with a seal on the streets?)

(Politicians meeting their end.)

(Ever had a dream to get save by Spider-man?)

(How about getting rescued by Batman & Robin?)

(Make poverty history.)

(For Coke lovers – want a bottle this big?)

(Kill the pest!!!)

I’ll post more in the near future. The optical illusions looks pretty cool. View more in part 2 of Julian Beever’s chalk optical illusions.

Just got this from a friend, some random joke:

Singapore airlines is tops!

Once upon a time in Singapore, there lived a happy couple, Mr & Mrs Ng with their 3 lovely triplet daughters; Elaine, Ena & Ella.

The 3 daughters were brought up in a prim-and-proper fashion and when they reached 20, their parents thought it was time to get them married.

So, the parents found them the most suitable “leng chais” (handsome guys). They got married and were preparing to set-off on their honeymoon.

As “concerned” (more like “kay-poh”) parents, Mr & Mrs Ng were curious about their daughters’ first-night experience.

So, before the daughters went on their respective honeymoons, Mrs Ng told them…” Your father and I want to know about your 1st night encounters and whether you were satisfied. Write a letter to us, but so as not to raise your husbands’ curiosity…you all must use a code-name to describe your experiences”.

So, the excited daughters were off.

A week passed. Mr & Mrs Ng got the first letter. It was from Elaine.

They opened the letter and found the word “STANDARD CHARTERED”. They immediately took the newspaper and looked for the Standard Chartered advertisement. “Ah! here it is!”, exclaimed Mr. Ng. The motto for Standard Chartered was… “BIG, STRONG & FRIENDLY” Mr & Mrs. Ng were happy.

A week later, they got another letter. This time it was from Ena. The content was simple. “NESCAFE”. So, again they took the neswpaper and looked for the Nescafe ad. “Ah! here it is. “NESCAFE: PLEASURE TILL THE LAST DROP”. Again, Mr & Mrs Ng beamed with joy.

Another week passed. A month passed. And another. There was still no letter from Ella. The Ngs became worried.

Finally, the letter came. It was scribbled and could hardly be read, but Mrs. Ng managed to figure it out. The code-name was “SINGAPORE AIRLINES”.

Why Singapore Airlines? Mr.Ng rushed to the nearest store and got a newspaper. He flipped the pages frantically. “Ah! Here it is!” Mrs. Ng grabbed the page and read aloud.

Before she could finish. THUMP!!! … she fell off her chair.

The motto was… “7 TIMES A WEEK. 4 TO 6 TIMES A DAY. NON-STOP”.

Got this in one of those forwarded emails

Never seen Silk comics before but this is pretty good.

I received the following from a friend through email. It’s a terrible joke yes, but it seems to keep Singaporeans busy forwarding this. Malaysians probably have jokes laughing at Singaporeans. If you do have such jokes, please tell me about it.

A Singaporean was on holiday in Malaysia. He was having his coffee, croissants, bread, butter & jam at the hotel’s coffee house. A Malaysian man who was chewing gum, sat down next to him and started a casual conversation.

Malaysian: “You Singaporeans eat the whole bread?”

Singaporean: “Of course.”

Malaysian: “We don’t. In Malaysia , we only eat what’s inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants & sell them across to Singapore.”

The Malaysian then had a smirk on his face while the Singaporean listened in silence…

Malaysian: “Do you eat the jam with the bread?”

Singaporean: “Of course.”

Malaysian (chuckling): “We don’t. In Malaysia , we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds & other left-overs in a container, recycle them, transform them into jam, before we sell it across to
Singapore.”

This time, the Singaporean retorted: “Do you have sex in Malaysia?”

Malaysian: “Why, of course we do.”

Singaporean: “Do you wear protection?”

Malaysian: “Of course! We wear condoms.”

Singaporean: “And what do you do with the condoms once you’ve used them?”

Malaysian: “Stupid question! Of course we throw them away.”

Singaporean: “We don’t. In Singapore, the government secretly puts them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum & sell them across to Malaysia, and that’s the real reason why we banned chewing gum in Singapore!”

End. Okay, you supposed to laugh.