Jeff Dunham is an award winning ventriloquist and a stand-up comedian. His usual puppets include a woozle named Peanut, a bitter old man named Walter, José Jalapeño, and Achmed the Dead Terrorist.
Jeff Dunham Achmed’s “Jingle Bombs”
Made me laugh but I’m sure there’ll just be some people who will get offended.
Jeff Dunham Achmed’s “Jingle Bombs” lyrics
Dashing through the sand
with a bomb strapped to my back.
I have a nasty plan
for Christmas in Iraq.
I got through checkpoint A,
but not through checkpoint B.
That’s when I got shot in the ass
by the US Military…[it's not funny!]
Oooh, jingle bombs, jingle bombs
Mine blew up you see.
Where are all the virgins
that Bin Laden promised me?
Oooh, jingle bombs, jingle bombs
U.S. soldiers shot me dead.
The only thing that I have left
is this towel up on my head.I used to be a man,
but every time I cough,
thanks to Uncle Sam,
my nuts keep falling off.
My bombing days are done.
I need to find some work.
Perhaps it would be much safer
as a convenient store night clerk.Oooh, jingle bombs, jingle bombs
I think I got screwed.
Don’t laugh at me because I’m dead
or I’ll kill you…I KILL YOUOUOU!
Tags: christmas, guitar, jeff dunham, lyrics, music, occasion, religion, talent, terrorism, usa
HAha lol thats just hillarious thanx
-China
by China (Dec 31, 2007 at 6 AM)jeff i am a big fan i have wached every one of your shows on youtube and some live.But all i can say about that video is ”THAT WAS SO HALARES THANK YOU!!!”
by charles (Dec 31, 2007 at 11 AM)Way to go, Dunham! No one made me laugh so much
by David (Dec 31, 2007 at 6 PM)I love Jeff he is hilarious, I love that “I keeel you!” he is a comic genius!!
by Rusty {alias} (Jan 1, 2008 at 2 AM)Hilarious!!!!! I think Walter should do a valentine’s day song.
by Heather G (Jan 1, 2008 at 3 AM)Jeff dunham is freakin halarious!
by RJ (Jan 3, 2008 at 6 AM)this sucks, it offends the human mind and body and spirit
hehhe
fuck.
by mateo (Jan 4, 2008 at 3 AM)THIS IS HORRIBLE IT OFFENDS THE HUMAN MIND AND SPIRIT AND BODY
LONG LIVE THE SPANISH EMPIRE OF THE WORLD
WHO WILL TAKE OVER
UNKNOWINGLY
JANUARY 18TH 2008
.
ALL WILL GO WITH A
BANG
by mateo (Jan 4, 2008 at 3 AM)awsome but wats he mean by uncle sam i no who uncle sam is but i dont get it.
by michael t. baker (Jan 15, 2008 at 10 AM)someone tell me pleasez.
Thank you dunham u are my hero since i watched t5his vid i have bin ubsesed with your vids they are all so funny
by BOB(not) (Jan 17, 2008 at 6 AM)Michael Uncle sam is also the symbol
by Leesad (Jan 18, 2008 at 1 PM)of America Or the military the creator of the us military
sooo funny i love it lol GREAT WORK
by mysteque (Jan 23, 2008 at 9 AM)u retards “thank u dunham”…… “oh marry me dunham” thas wut u peeps sound like
by alalalala......terrorist (Jan 24, 2008 at 10 PM)Jeff Dunham is a comedy genius! I love this rendition to Jingle Bells! “I keel you!”
by Lizzie (Jan 25, 2008 at 5 PM)All i can say is anybody who can’t laugh at jeff dunham must be mental.
achmed and peanut r da BEST!!!!!!!!
by stephany (Jan 26, 2008 at 3 AM)AWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEESSSSSOOOOOMMMMMMMEEEEEEE
by sam (Jan 26, 2008 at 10 PM)ok that was good but you suck
by katie (Jan 26, 2008 at 11 PM)José Jalapeño(on a stick) YOU ROCK
by lil mike (Feb 1, 2008 at 10 PM)Why do you have to get shot in the ass?
by bob (Feb 15, 2008 at 8 AM)you are so funny i want u do be at my next birthday party with every one
by dario (Feb 16, 2008 at 5 AM)omg dis is so funi!! i cant stop laughing.. its funi like hell!!!! i luv it!! awesome jeff dunham n achmed!!! u guys r awesome!!!
by Kathy (Feb 18, 2008 at 8 AM)Thats awsome i love achmed
by Mike (Feb 19, 2008 at 9 PM)Yea o F**K YEA MAN i dont give a F**K what anyone says. Jeff Dunham is and always will be one of the best comics n the earth. He is what inspired me to do stand up and im not half bad thnks to him. well i gotta give some credit to Dane Cook now that is a comic. anway bump for this site. and this topic.
by Brandan (Feb 24, 2008 at 11 AM)SIELENCE I KILL U JEFF EMAIL MEE PLEEZE UR THE BEST UR MY ROLE MODEL IM 11 YEARS OLD MY FRIENDS CALL ME ACHMED PLEZE DOO MORE RASIST STUFF LIKE GINGLE BOMBS P.S
I KILLLLLLLL UUUUUUUUUUUU
by SIELENCE IN FIDEL (Feb 29, 2008 at 10 AM)Jeff Dunham is funny as hell .. I am glad to see him get so much recognition now, he deserves it.
I am actually looking to see him when he comes to DC. But these F****N ticket brokers are sellingJeff Dunham Tickets for way too much money.
I cant pay more than $50 per ticket to see him in concert, and I know a lot of other fans feel the same way.
by Rick Mutuverria (Mar 10, 2008 at 7 AM)LOL I love to watch Jeff Dunham’s movies
by Jonathan (Mar 16, 2008 at 9 AM)so hilarious
no no and no
by peter (Mar 18, 2008 at 9 AM)OH MY GOD DUDE. YOU ARE SO AWSOME. YOU ARE MY IDOL. CAN YOU MAKE MORE ACHMED SONGS FOR ME PLEASE. AND IF YOU COULD EMAIL ME THAT WOULD BE RADICAL
by silence (Mar 21, 2008 at 9 AM)hahaha!! very funny!!! I LOVE IT.
by Ruthie (Mar 31, 2008 at 10 AM)i’lllll kiiiiiillllllll uuuuuuuuu,,,,,,
by usama bin laden (Apr 10, 2008 at 4 PM)thx jefff….way to go achmed
that was the best funny song ever…:P
keep up good work jeff..
bin laden:P
Hey Jeff! I just wanted to say that I am 12 and I think Achmed the Dead Terrorist is amazing. This is so creative and you are a very blessed with awesome talents. Keep up the great work! You shoud do a 4th of July Achmed Special!
God bless.
by meggie (Apr 24, 2008 at 4 AM)I KILL YOU!
hehehe.excellent show!
by bin laadin achmed (Apr 24, 2008 at 2 PM)omg i LOVE all of jeffs puppets you need to come to missouri so i can see you in concert PLEASE DO SO!!!!!!!!!!
by leiaamidala (Apr 27, 2008 at 11 AM)SILENCE!!!! Night….Bin Laden is coming to town….Holy Crap….Jingle Bombs…Silence!!! I’ll Kill you!!!!!
by Lea Kris Anne (May 4, 2008 at 10 AM)Love it lol, thx for the lyrics!!!
by roberttt (May 6, 2008 at 4 AM)HILARIOUS! When i sang it to my friends thay were abt to explode! and i agree with Heather… we need more songs like these… for valentine, or anything!!! way to go jeff!
by Raphael (May 17, 2008 at 4 PM)i love achmed!!!!!!!!<3<3<3
by achmedsirgin (May 26, 2008 at 11 PM)This song was so funny my grandpa almost keld over at the part about uncle sam
by Raven (Jun 15, 2008 at 11 PM)OMG Jef-afar is brilliant. Was wondering if you might ever consider coming to South Africa. Would love to watch live. Peanut is so funky…… cause he pisses jeff of-fafar… heheheheh
by Halima (Jul 9, 2008 at 7 PM)this is brilliant man!
way to go jeff your the best!
by jeffdunhamfan (Aug 14, 2008 at 2 AM)coollll i like dunham so mch he is funny
by jeffdunhamfan (Aug 14, 2008 at 2 AM)lol so funny
by e3 96 (Sep 3, 2008 at 12 AM)hi. i love your show expesically the jingle bombs one. you are really good. when i am depressed all o really have to do it watch jingle bombs and i will laugh.
keep doing a good job.
by Sharon (Sep 14, 2008 at 12 PM)Awsome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
by Aby Normal (Sep 15, 2008 at 3 PM)Achmed is one of Jeff’s most beloved characters, and it’s always great to see something new from him, like any Jeff Dunham video.
by Mark Lopes (Sep 23, 2008 at 9 AM)Jeff if you could send me a peanut puppet, oh and I KILL YOU!!
by Daniel (Sep 28, 2008 at 9 PM)hi guys
by areeb (Oct 24, 2008 at 1 AM)this was an excellent hilarious song
i am a big fan of jeff .
thx
omg i love achmed hes so halarious i also love all your other ones!!!!! i wish you would come to wisconsin!!!!!
by brittany anderson (Oct 28, 2008 at 2 PM)FROM SOUTH AFRICA LEKKE SOOS A CRACKER LOVE THE NEW GINGLE BOMBS WHEN ARE YOU COMING TO SOUTH AFRICA. LOVE ACHMED. SHUT UP I KILL YOU…….
by JANEY (Nov 7, 2008 at 7 PM)Jeff, your shows have reached South Africa on DVD a few months ago. I’ve grown up with comedy but have NEVER seen anyone as talented as you. Your puppets are beautiful, Peanut is the best!
by Nickey (Nov 9, 2008 at 12 AM)Please consider a tour to South Africa?
Jeff Dunham, You’ve done it again! I love that song! If i had a cellphone, I’d find a way to make that my ringtone! But sadly, I dont have one. ;*( Oh well. I’ll get one someday. Until then…
by nick campagne (Nov 18, 2008 at 8 AM)DunHam, got to say, this song had me laughing so hard I had an asthma attack. Friggin hilarious!
by Sara (Nov 21, 2008 at 6 AM)Also ‘Oh Holy Crap’ was effin funny!
I actually got in trouble for singing it!
jeff dunham is the king of comedy and i can not stoplaughing at this
by jeff (Nov 25, 2008 at 11 AM)Jeff Dunham is f***ing awesome. he is one of the greatest comedians ever
by achmed (Dec 5, 2008 at 1 AM)i love you jeff
by johnny walkes (Dec 5, 2008 at 6 AM)Jeff u own. Ahmed is the funniest though. Ur like the best comedy guy ever. i espeacilly like the drugs bit. “Go back stage and do your drugs now” looooooooooooooooooooooooooooool u r the best man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
by Ricky (Dec 7, 2008 at 4 AM)this is very funny and i love this act the oes that are my favorite are achmed and walter they are the funniest and when are you gona make a new one i think that you shud do one of them both togather plz from jordan and i love the lyrics lol funny ass lmfao
by jordan (Dec 11, 2008 at 4 AM)i love this video but my favorite is the video when achmed is telling you haw to spell his name and hes like “A…C…flem”
by mark walter (Dec 11, 2008 at 5 AM)i love that i laughed my balls off
We have seen Jeff live twice and would go again in a heart beat!! We love his humor and all his friends!!! Achmed is another great addition!! We never laughed so freaking hard in our lives!!!!!
by Dianne Garner (Dec 12, 2008 at 10 AM)This was the funniest thing….way to go dunham. Ok you set up screens to blocd evil bots, what should you do about haters? Keep it going jeff…….
by Kimberly Howell (Dec 17, 2008 at 8 AM)I truly enjoy your materiel. I am 55 years old and my sons introduced me to your act and I love it. I have all three of your DVD’s and no matter how much I see them I laugh, even when I know the punch line. Hey I am from the south and did work for NASCAR, and agree with Ben Franklin about beer (It is proof God loves us, I think Bubba J has this belief also) so I laugh knowing what line is coming. I agree with you it hard to be politically correct but most Americans are fed up with political correctness. It is only the gays in power blue Prisus with Chihuahua’s that worry about that crap any more. How about Sweet Daddy Dee meets Bubba J? I think that would be funny. Anyway keep it coming, I am looking forward to seeing new stuff soon.
by Jim Langley (Dec 23, 2008 at 2 AM)me and my friends love your song we all memorized it!!!!!! now me and my friends sing it any time we get im 11 and you definitely rock!!! if you email me any other acts with any of your puppets i would totally freak!i would show them to my friends and we have so much fun singing them p.s YOU ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
by nutcracker (Jan 7, 2009 at 8 AM)jeff like uhh totlly rocks man and he was a hit all over parkrose middle school everyone was singing jingle bombs but if you could send me any of the other songs i would go crazy
by nutcracker (Jan 7, 2009 at 8 AM)the lyrics are fine too im 11 and you rock jeff here is a qoute from my favorite movie “never have no in your heart” then he says “kickin wing your gonna be a vetinarian and then you should change your name to kickin ass”
qoutes from the movie joe dirt