Han Ding Yuan is coming to Singapore! And who the hell is that, you asked. Well, he’s a nobody. Quiet Chinese man. No, he didn’t join another singing competition. No he didn’t star in an action show too.
Well, actually he likes some martial arts too. Han Ding Yuan is my friend from secondary school. It’s been a really long time since I last see him. After secondary school, he migrated to Vancouver, Canada. And tomorrow marks the first day in 2 years.
He told me he lost 20 kg. I wonder if he’s stressed up or something recently. Tomorrow, we’re paying a visit to our dear secondary school. Yes, our dear secondary school, the one that forced us to wear a tie everyday in the bloody hot Singapore.
Ding Yuan wants to visit the teachers. And the Chinese Orchestra instructors that I have spend cursing through my entire secondary school life. I play the Chinese flutes and Ding Yuan plays the what-is-to-known-as trumpet of the Chinese world. Just a note, I never come near fancying Ding Yuan’s instrument.
For his instrument is one of the loudest, the clearest and the most annoying one in the Chinese Orchestra. It however remains a must-have in Chinese funerals. Ding Yuan likes his instrument. It didn’t take long for me to realize how to strikingly-similar is his instrument to the ones I saw in the funerals. [Actually, it is exactly the same.]
Let me introduce about Chinese funerals. Most important of all, they must be noisy. No Chinese funeral should go unheard by the family living across the street. Chinese funerals requires lots of burning with a common belief that these things fly to hell and the dead can receive it in their mail boxes. Chinese, being greedy people, burn paper houses with concubines in them too. Last but not least – music. Or rather to me – noise from Ding Yuan’s instrument.
So one day, the brilliant musician – that is me of course – rearranged a must-have tune from the funerals which is to be played by Ding Yuan’s instrument. Due to my ingenious efforts and my instructor’s ability of accept my rather-offending humor, it is complete.
I handed the score to Ding Yuan who later played the song with much pride. He played the song aloud from the third floor to the car park of my school. And who were at the car park that time?
The various uniform groups were having muster parade practices. Brilliant.
Note: Chinese funerals refers to Buddhist and Taoist funerals in general. This is categorized under “Entertainment” as music is a form of entertainment.
Possibly related:
EEwww… that trumpet? My friend with huge lungs used to play it in CO and it gave me ringing ears after practice. I played the cello btw – failed miserably in it heh.
by YingRu (Jul 17, 2004 at 12 AM)gosh,for a moment there,u had me thinking he was some super star!lol.:shock:
by vanessa (Jul 17, 2004 at 1 AM)that must have been some enlightening performance for the uniform groups.what were the expressions on their faces anyway?:grin:[j/k]
and a darn good definition of chinese funerals..haha!
YingRu: Yeah, it’s that trumpet, lol. I can’t play the flute now, it’s all forgotten.
by Mr. Dew (Jul 17, 2004 at 8 AM)vanessa: I wish I knew a celebrity, hahaa. Their expression.. Well, they aren’t exactly pleased and the teacher came muching up and made a compliant, lol.
You play the flutes? Is it the dizi? Coz that’s what I played before I quit Chinese Orchestra.
by Serene (Jul 17, 2004 at 1 PM)Serene: yes, i played the dizi
by Mr. Dew (Jul 17, 2004 at 10 PM)